With a gym this size means that I am going to have to encounter that which bothers me more than anything else in the world: Other People.
This edition of Things that Bother Me will be entirely focused on certain types of folks at the gym:
- 30 Second Treadmill Guy - This is always a dude. He gets on the treadmill, usually the one right next to me, and does a series of stretches for his arms (makes no sense?) and then proceeds to crank the treadmill up as fast as it can go. He usually hangs on for about 30 seconds and then stops and leaves. And as he leaves he usually struts away like he is Ben Johnson! Great workout dude, thanks for playing.
- The Checking out my Stats Treadmill Guy - Once again this is always a dude. Last week this happened two times in one run. A guy gets on the treadmill next you and is constantly looking at your speed and distance? It is a treadmill buddy! We are not moving? And I am not racing you? This is more annoying than anything else just because you are trying to get your workout in and you sense the eyes upon you.
- The Shaving Naked Guy - There is this one guy I have seen a few times when I come into the locker room after Master's swim. He is completely naked shaving his face standing at the sink. This is not what bothers me. It is that his junk is resting on the sink. Seriously, you cannot toss on a towel and keep the boys off the counter? I openly wish that the guy with athlete's foot was cleaning out his toe gunk on that very spot on the sink!
- The Using Blow Dryer for your Junk Guy - This major infraction has been witnessed on many occasions. Usually it is an elderly guy. He takes the blow dryer and holds it under his towel to dry off his balls. It is very classy!
- The Guy Who Needs the Locker Right Next to Me - As mentioned early the LTF I frequent is ginormous. This means the locker room is rather spacious as well. However, it never fails that I will be standing at my locker getting changed and someone will come in and want the locker right next to or above me. There are literally 1000 other open lockers with no one around them and they have to choose this locker? People become such creatures of habit that they cannot move to another locker - just ridiculous. A few months back I actually yelled at a guy who attempted this, felt bad afterwards but it needed to be done.
- The Entire Gym Parking Lot - The front of the gym where traffic intersects is tight. Yet this does not prevent people from stopping to pick-up others at the front door. This backs up all the other cars trying to find a place to park. My scientific study has shown that 9 out of 10 people who do this are fatasses. Glad you are off the couch chubby now walk that extra 20 yards to the car.
- The LifeTime Fitness Music Video Channel - This is quite awful. If you are at a LTF and forget your iPod I suggest you go home because the music will drive you crazy. Thanks to the video channel I now realize all current top 40 music absolutely sucks and every video is the same: Scantily clad singer/dancer chick, surrounded by a bunch of other scantily clad dancer chicks, they begin suggestively dancing in some pyramid scheme with the lead chick at the top, they may or may not be in water/mud/cafeteria/jungle, a group of scantily clad muscular guys at some point during the song enter the video. Boom! I just directed and produced a LTF music video, genius.
- The Text Message Guy/Girl - This group has grown rather significantly over the last few years and us usually a younger crowd but not always. You will be on your treadmill and notice someone come in and jump on a machine. They will sit on this machine for a long time and send a shit-ton of text messages. Sometimes they will even laugh out loud so we can all see how funny the message they just received was. They may do one or two sets on the machine in between texts but usually will get up and leave without doing any work.
That is all I got for today!
What do you see at the gym that bothers you?
Thanks for Reading,