Thursday, September 23, 2010

I Am Sick of These M#@$%# Snakes on My M$#$^$% Runs!


I am over these damn snakes.  Really I cannot not take them any more.  They are all evil spawns of the devil straight from hell who are out to get me.  I am convinced they will not quit until I am in the ER with a drip bag of anti-venom attached to me.

I cannot even tell you how many encounters with snakes I have had this summer because there have been so many.  The worst should have been when one struck at me on the bike and actually hit the rear wheel, but nope it wasn't the worst, tonight tops it.

So I am in the middle of a tempo run about 4.5 miles in and feeling just wonderful.  Holding about a 7:30 pace and I make the turn onto a sidewalk that is between the 9th Hole of the Golf Course and a stream.  I like running on this section because it is a pretty flat straight away that is about a mile long.  It is dark but we have a street light about every 50 yards or so.  We had a pretty windy day and quite a few limbs and branches are scattered about.  As I am running on the sidewalk I see what appears to be another branch about 10 yards ahead of me in a dark area of the sidewalk.  As I get to maybe a yard away from this "branch" on the sidewalk it is at this point I realize that it is a freaking huge ass snake - and it is looking right at me!  My only option is to jump over this snake. I was running to hard to try and pull up and stop because at this point I am right on top of the snake.  So I leap like Dominique Wilkins over this slimy bastard!

After I clear the snake I sprint about 20 yards away and immediately stop and turn around and I must have scarred it pretty good too because it is now in the coiled up strike position.  So at this time I am afraid it has friends but I really want to see what kind of snake it is so I jump over the grass onto the main road and literally tip-toe back towards the coiled snake while scanning the area like a U.S. Drone Plane.  Well, it is without a doubt a f'n Water Moccasin (or better known as a Cotton Mouth), these are extremely aggressive and venomous snakes.  It is about 4ft in length and about as thick as my forearm - one mean looking SOB.  Here is a pic of what this one looked like:


You can always tell the Water Moccasin by the shape of the head.  It has the shape of a spade, as you can see from the picture above.  If you see one like this stay away.

After I determined it was a Water Moccasin I became very antsy and sprinted back to the house - in the middle of the road - and avoided every stick or twig.  It really sucked.

No doubt in my mind if I wouldn't have had the presence of mind to leap this bitch it would have hit me.  I think my next few runs are going to be on the treadmill.

Thanks for Reading,

Jeff

26 comments:

  1. I got the heebie jeebies just reading that! Snakes freak me out! I'm so glad you didn't get bit.

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  2. Did you get any HR data on the Dominique leap? You have ups like that?!

    I guess my Raccoon fear in MN (they have little hands!) doesnt compare anymore since I can run in the day and avoid them

    -Derek

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  3. that sucks. Hope you didn't have white compression shorts on.

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  4. I grew up with snakes, pretty much living in the Australian outback, but that still freaked me out...

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  5. That is insane, Jeff! Glad you haven't been "hit" yet. Talk about a confidence wrecker! Can you carry snake "mace"?

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  6. Yikes! I would loved to have seen that leap though...

    P.S.- I didn't get to comment on your last post but Ernie is so amazingly cute. How weird that my dogs answer to "Treat" as well. Must be a dog thing.

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  7. So THAT's where Patrick has been shipping his snakes! You might want to add bells to your training wardrobe - wait, maybe that's for bears?

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  8. OMG! I get freaked out by the little gardener snakes that we have around here! They are not poisonous....but they are freaky just the same! I don't know how you do it! Is there such a thing as snake season in Texas? Will they go away in the fall with the cooler temps? Do me a favor and be careful....please!

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  9. Hahaha loved Patrick's comment.

    Yeah, snakes really spook you because the branches are NOT supposed to move haha.

    Luckily we don't have too many venomous snakes up here so I always enjoy grabbing the snakes as I see them. H gets pissed at me and yells at me for playing with them.

    Good eye though, last thing you need is a training setback ;)

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  10. oh my god.. that is the f-ing scariest thing I have ever seen. where in the hell do you live to have snakes like that?!

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  11. I checked the wikipedia article (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agkistrodon_piscivorus) to see their geographic range. To all my friends in the southwest US, I regret to inform you that I will no longer be visiting.

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  12. LOL..I know what you mean...I ran accross a big snake on one of my runs this year...it was dead...I didn't know it...I screamed so loud I scared myself more with my scream than the snake.

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  13. eh..yo...keep that screaming thing on the DL.

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  14. that is one nast snake. We have a lot of them here.

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  15. Mainly just gators around here. Nothing like running in the hood and seeing a 5 foot gator jogging next to you in the grass.. with some really nice human skin boots on, no less.

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  16. Just another thing I don't miss about my home state. I don't have to worry about that in Western Mass. My fear, though, is that I'm going to run into the skunk that treats my dog like its own "perfume" test case...

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  17. I have nightmares about snakes and your story didn't help any. It makes me wonder how many Ragnar relay racers who run in the middle of the night in the mountains out here could be inches away from a rattle snake and not know it.

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  18. I'm with Patrick--White Shorts?

    I hate snakes. A copperhead was laying in the road the other night when my wife and I ran. It was a good snake though. Thank you Mr. Car.

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  19. yowza!! That is one ugly looking snake. Glad you didn't get bit. I can't imagine having to deal with that constantly on my runs.

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  20. Completely freaky!! The only snakes I've seen on my rides and runs have been dead, thank goodness. Cracks me up that you tippy-toed back to see what kind it was.

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  21. I am so lucky I live in Maine...We do not have any poisonous snakes so snakes don't bother me - I mean I usually pick them up when I see them (I am a freak). If I had to deal with worrying about what you have to I might go nuts.

    Holy crap, water moccasins are nasty bastards - my grandfather used to have to deal with them when he lived in West Virginia. He has some scary stories between them and rattlers.

    Every have any problems with the dogs and snakes?? Hope not!

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  22. ::squeals and sprints away::

    ::shuders::

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  23. Charlie Batch?!!
    3-0

    my team = not good

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  24. I think that cottonmouths are not the spawn of the devil...they are the devil himself! I have a buddy that got chased around his yard by one!

    Your snake story made my 6 inch rattlesnake story feel like small potatoes.

    And what is it with snakes taking strikes at bike wheels? I had one of those a couple of years ago as well. Can you imagine the sound if they actually connected? Talk about a stick in the spokes! That sould sound nasty!

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